Our Jewish Funeral Planning Checklist
Planning a Jewish funeral service is a process that involves specific rules and rituals. The Jewish faith has many customs and beliefs that need to be completed immediately following the passing of a loved one. There is not much time to prepare so it crucial to understand how to plan a Jewish funeral. Our Jewish funeral planning guide has been developed to outline each of the important steps in the process.
At AM Israel Mortuary, we have helped hundreds of families plan a Jewish funeral for their loved one, we take pride in our attention to detail and our assistance with planning a Jewish funeral.. Our team of caring and dedicated funeral professionals has helped hundreds of families say goodbye with loving and respectful funeral services. If you have any questions or are in need of assistance with planning a Jewish funeral service, please contact us. A member of our staff would be honored to assist you.
Below, we have provided our Jewish funeral planning guide that outlines many of the important decisions you must make during the planning process. When reading through the guide, it is important to keep in mind that it is intended for traditional Jewish burial and funeral services, and that some steps may vary if you choose a less traditional Jewish service.
Download Our Jewish Funeral Planning Checklist
Are You Planning a Jewish Funeral?
If your family is interested in planning a traditional Jewish funeral, our staff can assist you with the planning process. A Jewish funeral typically follows traditions that have been practiced for thousands of years.
Jewish funeral services are typically held in one of three places: the synagogue, a funeral home or the graveside. Typically, these services are quite brief and include a eulogy, reciting psalms, and a traditional closing prayer. The service closes by the casket being carried to the hearse and a processional to the cemetery.
Once at the cemetery a graveside service is held that is also quite brief. Once all of the guests have arrived, the service continues. The graveside service includes reciting more prayers prior to the lowering of the casket. The closing prayer is then recited for a second time.
The mourners then recite the Kaddish for the first time in their bereavement. This is followed by guests and mourners take turns placing dirt into the grave. Once the service has concluded, guests form two parallel lines facing each other. As the mourners pass between the lines, guests recite a traditional blessing.
Informing People of Your Loss
- It is important to notify the immediate family first and if possible, in person.
- Call family members that live out of town, however, try to make sure they are not alone when receiving the news.
- Make a list of other people that should be notified about the passing. This could include close friends, employers, co-workers, neighbors, and extended family.
- It is recommended to have other immediate family members help you make these calls.
Planning the Jewish Burial
- Contact the funeral home to discuss transporting your loved one and begin the arrangement process
- Determine if your loved one had a plan pre arranged for their burial and funeral service.
- If there is a plan, review it and follow it accordingly.
- Choose a cemetery where you would like your loved one to be buried
- Decide if the deceased will be buried with their tallit (prayer shawl) or if it will be kept as a family heirloom
- Keep in mind that flowers are typically not displayed at Jewish gravesites.
- A common substitute to flowers is to donate to a charity of your choice on behalf of your loved one.
Planning the Jewish Funeral Service
- Notify your loved one’s synagogue of the passing
- Decide who will perform the ceremony itself
- Consult the funeral home on the type of service you would like, this includes choosing between a graveside service or a formal funeral that takes place at a synagogue.
- Discuss small add-ons you want to accompany the funeral service such as prayer cards.
- Finalize the arrangement with the funeral director when you are fully satisfied with all of your decisions.
- Collaborate with the funeral home and service officiant about the exact format of the funeral service, and how family and friends will participate through giving the eulogy and other readings/prayers.
- Estimate the number of guests that will be at the funeral
- Select pallbearers
- As a family, decide who will deliver the eulogy
- Discuss with the funeral home, the logistics in terms of transportation to the synagogue and to the cemetery.
- Decide as a family if you will participate in the tradition of kriah.
- Kriah refers to the act of tearing one’s garments to express your grief and anger due to the loss of a loved one. In today’s Jewish faith, a black ribbon can be used as a substitute to a piece of your loved one’s clothing.
- Choose pall-bearers
- Notify all guests of the location and time of the funeral service
- Create a handout with the shiva information to be given to the guests.
- Be sure to include the address of where shiva will be observed and the hours during which visitors are welcome.
Planning the Seudat Havra’ah (Meal of Consolation)
Many Jewish families have a traditional meal, called a “seudat havra’ah”, following the funeral ceremony. This meal is intended for immediate family members rather than a public condolence event, and represents a sense of community as they enter into a new stage of their lives without their loved one, since the meal is prepared by people within the community. Some things that need to be completed prior to the seudat havra’ah are listed below.
- The rabbi, friends or extended family members should make arrangements for this light meal (not the mourners)
- Place a pitcher of water, a basin and towels outside the door for guests to use upon arrival
- If you are preparing the meal, ensure the food is simple and generally round such as hard-boiled eggs or bagels, as this symbolizes the cycle of life
Planning the Shiva
Traditionally within the Jewish culture, Shiva
is a seven-day mourning period after the death of a loved-one, in which the immediate family stays home, refrains from work or school, and receives visitors that wish to pay condolences. There are a few things that need to be done prior to the Shiva and we have listed them below for your convenience.
- Inform your employer of the need for an absence from work
- Set a schedule for visiting hours and when additional services will take place
- Inform extended family and members of the community of when the visiting hours will take place.
- Common visitors will include extended family, friends, co-workers, casual acquaintances, and general members of the community, including those who belong to the temple, where the deceased was a member.
- Discuss with the synagogue or funeral home any additional help you may need
Still Need Help Planning a Jewish Funeral?
If you have any questions regarding our Jewish funeral planning checklist, please do not hesitate to contact us today. AM Israel Mortuary is a team of experienced and dedicated professionals, and are more than willing to offer our help planning a Jewish funeral.